For I could not have shaken the touch of your breath on my arm.
For it has stayed in me, as an epithet,
I am sorry the worst has arrived,
For I'm on the floor,
In the room where we made it that last touch of the night
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild gees, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
- Mary Oliver
I can't stop listening to the age of adz. I know its all indie to be into it, and hipster to avoid it, but for the moment i'm too swept off into the magic of his sound to care. it gives rainy days their wimsy and nights their seriousness tenderness.
I'm avoiding school with pure determination right now. After writing the most intense paper of my life, I deserve some pause to breath! And what air today! My windows are frosted with condensation and teary pathways, giving me streaky sights to the heavy trees outside. I'm completely in love with everything sweatery and especially anything indian/aztec-y. If only this life of a poor student wasn't so textile deprived!
this time is
of barbed quiet wound tight across our shivering skin.
of senseless air
and meaning dies quietly, dressed to the nines and alone.
I shouldn't mourn past selves and smiles
but how can I not feel their betrayal to the past
with sadness, washed and folded, weeping in its bottom drawer.
The sound of my sinking exhausted world to be found here (be sure to listen to all three parts). I found this info on wiki particularly effecting: In interviews, Stevens has stated that, in 2009/10, he suffered from a mysterious debilitating virus infection that affected his nervous system. He experienced chronic pain, and was forced to stop working on music for several months. He said: "The Age of Adz, is, in some ways, a result of that process of working through health issues and getting much more in touch with my physical self. That's why I think the record's really obsessed with sensation and has a hysterical melodrama to it."
The fall is painfully beautiful outside today. The colors are so vivid, I feel like I'm in a fevered state of consciousness, perhaps not helped by listening to sufjan 24/7 on no sleep.